Battle of the Bridesmaids: Get your Bridesmaids to Behave
Brides picture their wedding as the most magical day - sunny weather, smiling groom, gracious mother-in-law. By the time the bride solves the seating chart puzzle, picks out perfect wedding favors, and finds a caterer, she's ready for the wedding to be over with. And then...there are the bridesmaids to deal with.
Sometimes bridesmaids are like the gang of girls in "Sex and the City" and sometimes they are like a pack of wild beasts. Even the best bridesmaid gifts can't smooth over a full-blown battle of the bridesmaids. Here's how to get your bridesmaids to behave without losing your mind (or dignity).
When Bridesmaids Butt Heads This scenario seems unlikely, since bridesmaids of a feather flock together. But sometimes your bridesmaids love you and not each other. Petty disagreements over bridesmaid dresses are normal, but full-out bridesmaid battles are not. Pull the offenders into the "bride's office" for a little heart to heart. Let them know you'd appreciate it if they could get along until after the wedding day. Don't choose sides or get in the middle. If one maid makes the others miserable, tell her to behave or you'll revoke her title.
Demoting the Disinterested Bridesmaid She gladly accepted your proposal and gobbled up your bridesmaid cookie card. So why all of a sudden is she "too busy" when it comes to bridesmaid duties? Before you demote your disinterested bridesmaid to standard wedding guest consider this: your wedding is the biggest event of your life, not hers. Check yourself before you go all Donald Trump and yell "you're fired." If the lady-in-waiting is truly lazy (as in you told her to do one task and she forgot - eight times), then nicely ask her to step out. To preserve the friendship, a simple sentence will do - "I think you're too busy to be my bridesmaids and that's OK. I'm asking Mary to step in instead." Rule of thumb: it's best to demote your bridesmaids before you order personalized bridesmaid gifts.
Bridesmaids that Don't Like the Groom This is one sticky situation and rarely discussed. Maybe you vented too much about your fiance's annoying habits and now your bridesmaids think you're too good for him because he leaves socks on the floor. Maybe they are jealous because you have a super-fly fiance. Or maybe it's his bad-boy image. Whatever their reasons for not liking him, it doesn't mean they can't stand up for you on the Big Day. Don't try and force a friendship between them. Let your friends know you're getting married and badmouthing the groom is out. And cancel that coed bachelor/bachelorette party. Booze plus bridesmaids and your pariah fiance is a recipe for a disaster.
My Wedding Party: You're Not Invited Selecting your bridesmaids can feel like picking teams in gym class. Don't wield your bride power over everyone; it's not a popularity contest. When you do ask the chosen ones, don't make it a big production in front of your other friends. Find other ways to include your good (but not best) friends. Make them readers or have them sing at the ceremony. You do not have to pick your future sister-in-law, your closest cousin, or even ladies you stood up for before. These days, you don't even have to choose women! Pick your true-blue best friends and stand by your decision.
Bridesmaid battles should be avoided at all costs, but if one breaks out, be prepared with bridesmaid gifts. Shop WeddingStand for bridesmaid gifts and wedding favors sure to make every guest forget about feuding.
