How to Be An Awesome Wife (Psst... the Perfect Wife Doesn't Exist)
Most brides dream of the perfect wedding: beautiful bridesmaid gifts that light up your girls' faces, an eggshell-white gown spun from flawless organza, a gallant groom sweeping you into his arms for a waltz at the reception.
About three years ago, I had one such wedding myself (sans waltz). Afterwards, I was somewhat surprised to find a marriage waiting for me, with all it's ups, downs, and in-between placidness. For the first few weeks, I tried to be the perfect wife. I burned my hand making a frozen turkey dinner. I joined a gym to maintain my perfect size six (ok, size 8) figure. I started reading Redbook to prevent every argument that could possibly arise.
After many mistakes and meals that made me gag, I realized that I could plan the perfect wedding, but I would never be the perfect wife. Why? The perfect wife doesn't exist. Try to be the perfect wife and you'll
wind up angry and resentful because you can't live up to a mythical
creature who has not a hair out of place and dinner on the table every night at 5:00 pm. Perfect Stepford wives don't exist and if they did, their husbands would quickly grow bored. Read on for five tips on how to be the perfect wife.
1. Let Him Relive His Fraternity Days. Awesome wives let their husbands get drunk and stupid once in awhile. This doesn't give him license to get thrown in jail or go out every night 'til 4:00 a.m. At least once a week, let your guy have a guy's night. Friendships outside of coupledom are an important part of any healthy relationship. Don't sit at home by yourself and count the seconds until he comes home. Gather the girls for some rambunctiousness of your own. Bring the flasks.
2.Don't Make Him Your Life. Awesome wives have interests and hobbies. I found this out the hard way. I moved 2,000 miles away from friends and family to live with my husband in a shoebox apartment that literally smelled like shoes. He had a job and friends; I had nothing but him. Rather than spending the first few months whining about my empty social calendar (or expecting him to fill the void), I took up hobbies: bellydancing, horseback riding, volunteering, kick boxing, you name it, I did it. Strong individual identities lead to a better marriage and better dinner conversations.
3. Don't Insult Yourself. Awesome wives know that they're awesome. Insecurities plague every woman - even those size-zero runway models. Feel good about yourself. When you insult yourself, you're insulting his taste in women and bringing attention to your flaws. There's nothing more perplexing to a man than a lady who pouts in front of the mirror all day and complains about "defects" he can't even see.
4. Accept Him - Paunch and All. Awesome wives accept their husband. You didn't marry a fixer-upper. Don't try to paint over his flaws and rebuild a better man. Save the renovations for your house! He may never lose the paunch or stop playing video games. If he's a nerdy type, don't expect a sudden transformation into George Clooney because you're married.
5. Stop Nagging. Awesome wives don't nag. I'm a reformed nag and know exactly how what you're thinking, "Well...I wouldn't have to nag if he'd do his chores." He didn't marry his mother. Don't give in and do his chores or "remind" him thirty times and make a big production of doing them yourself (guilty as charged). If it's his turn to do the dishes, let him deal with the fallout when there's a tower of greasy pans in the sink. Say "would you" or "will you" instead of "could you" or "can you." There's a subtle difference in the way those words are received. Come up with other solutions to the problem. Nagging doesn't work and magnifies the problem.
For more tips on how to be the "almost perfect wife", read the (Almost) Perfect Wife Guide Book. Now that you know the perfect wife doesn't exist (whew) continue planning the perfect wedding with bridesmaid gifts and wedding favors from Wedding Stand.
