Choosing your Maid of Honor can be one of the most daunting tasks in the wedding planning process. There really are no set guidelines on the matter. They can be your sister or cousin, niece or aunt, but most often it is your best friend - that one person that has been beside you through thick and thin. The only rule is that you thank him or her with the appropriate bridesmaid gift or Maid of Honor gift.
You want to try and make your choice and pray that no feelings get hurt (but trust me - that is virtually impossible). My sister and I were not close. My cousin that had become my closest ally in life had a slight glitch. She lived on the other side of the continent and wasn't certain she'd be able to make it to our wedding.
My dilemma in asking my best friend of some 24 years? He just happens to be a guy. I love him dearly but knew he'd never agree to wearing a dress and I'd never be able to find him a manly bridesmaid gift. He also had an even more important task. Since my father had passed away when I was quite young, Kevin had promised to walk me down the aisle.
My second greatest fortune in life (the first being the fact that I was marrying the man of my dreams) was that my best friend had married a wonderful woman named Laurie. This special woman had not only opened her home to me, but had opened her heart to me as well and we had become close friends. The tricky part was that Laurie is a breast cancer survivor and had just barely gotten over her latest encounter with this horrendous disease. I was worried that she might not be able to make the trip from California. I also didn't know what bridesmaid gift could possibly thank her enough for standing up in my wedding.
I believe that if you opened a dictionary to "hero" you would see Laurie's picture. At least I know in my dictionary I do. She is the epitome of strength, courage and sheer determination. Throughout our friendship Laurie has taught me the true meaning of "living life" but most of all she is a wonderful, warm-hearted, compassionate woman that I respect and admire deeply. Oh, and the final deciding factor? My dog absolutely adored her. I've always believed that being a Maid of Honor is earned. It is a choice that shouldn't be made lightly, or at least it wasn't for me. It was, however, a very simple choice for me to make. You see, Laurie truly was "Made of Honor."
You can find lists of the Maid Of Honor's responsibilities or you can make your own. I chose the latter. It was a very short list: 1) Come to Washington 2) Stand with me when I marry the man I love 3) Have as much fun as you possibly can
I did ask Laurie to choose her own dress having complete confidence she would arrive with an exquisite dress that would be just perfect. And I was right. She had chosen an elegant but simple off white dress that matched our colors perfectly. It really wouldn't have mattered to me if she'd worn jeans and a t-shirt. Just the simple fact that she would be a part of my wedding was what was important to me.
I was a very lucky girl. My dearest friend would be walking me down the aisle, and his wife, someone I cared for and admired would be by my side when I married the man I loved.
As you can see, there are any numbers of variables you can use in choosing your Maid of Honor. There is no magic book of rules. When you make your choice it will come from your heart and be a big part of what will make your wedding the perfect day.
